Never seen a fool like me

Fuck…

I was re-setting my phone because it has been acting up the past month or so, turning itself off and being generally slow and buggy…

Being a total moron like I am , I forget to copy my contacts to my memorystick, and therefor all of them, all of the close to 200-300 people are now gone…POOF, like that.

I mean shiet…I had some numbers saved on my SIM card, but most of them are useless because they were saved from early 2008, and since then I have gathered so many more.

I did however notice, that I still had my ex’s number on the SIM, which reminded me…why hadnt I deleted that long ago?

Now it is done, the last remains of a long reign of terror, gone.

How could I be so careless?

One does foolish things when in distress, and I am feeling alot of that right now :/

I am feeling slightly recovered from my illness, had a very good sleep a few hours ago.

Been drinking a lot of water as well, got several ottles in the freezer  for ultimate coolidge!

I am however feeling mental distress too, extremes colliding and making negative sparks.

Love, depression, anger, stress…

Sometimes I wish I didn’t know anyone and only had myself and myself only to depend on.

-Isn’t there some part of the brain you can cut away to relief the mind from caring?

To block out all elements of trouble so I could focus on that which is most important…no love, no nothing.

But then again, how much would I miss from life that way?

Pretty much…

Mental surgery, yeah I have heard of some people who have been so fucked up that was their only way out.

It is very sad though, I cannot imagine being so torn up and destroyed deep inside to have to go to such meaures.

I mean, I have been very depressed…but not close to some others.

Trying to turn to a brighter state of mind though, being thoughtful of the future, rather than the present.

But like Buddha says;

-Be weary of the future, but aware of the present.